Marvin and I broke up. Not like we were boyfriend/girlfriend anyway, but we're not going to be at this point now. The prospect is gone.
Here's how it went. Last night we went out for Chinese food at Taste Good (best Chinese in Buffalo, even if they aren't the friendliest of people). We got General Tso Tofu to share and rented The Fighter. Our talks were good, the movie was good. He looked super cute. I looked good, I think. I wore a tight black shirt with a red tank under it so it wasn't too revealing, and gray skinny jeans with black heels.
Unlike our last date, there was no foot play, no arm touching, no hand holding, no kissing, nothing. I was so confused. He did tell me right away that he had to leave right after the movie because he had to leave at 6:00 am to look at a tour van in Detroit with Chris. And he did, he left right when the movie ended. I did not even have time to pounce on him to try to makeout with him. Very disappointing.
I was feeling so depressed about it. I basically emailed him about it because I knew I wouldn't see him again for two weeks, unless by some miracle he called me and wanted to hang out on Friday and take me to the airport on Saturday (slumberparty of my dreams!). But no. He said basically that he wants to just be friends...blah blah blah he likes my kisses thinks I'm a great girl but doesn't want a girlfriend. He still wants to be friends. And I do still want to be friends with him but I'd much rather him be my boyfriend. I was just so into him. And I keep hoping that he'll see how much he likes me if he hangs out with me more being friends, but that's probably not the case. He probably just doesn't want to be my boyfriend and doesn't want to be mean and say that.
Anyway, it's been a bad week. That included, I found out that my health insurance was going up 300% and I can't afford it anymore. The job I applied for and had two interviews with decided on someone else. I'm really feeling down right about now. I do have a date tomorrow with a minor Buffalo celebrity. He's pretty big on the scene. He seems pretty nice. Hopefully that will cheer me up. It'll be my first okcupid date.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
So Marvin picked me up and we went to get Indian food. I was so nervous I could barely finish my samosa, let alone my main dish. Thank god for leftovers. He was so nice and good with conversation. So cute. He has these beautiful blue eyes and this great strong nose. Love myself a strong nose. Anyway, he paid (gentleman). I swear, next time I have to get it, though. Then we decided it would be best to go to my house since Chris' girlfriend's son was having a friend over and I had to get up early. Score for me since my television is in my bedroom, so we have to get in bed to watch TV.
While we watched "Howl," we were kind of close in bed and our feet got close enough, they were touching and our arms were touching, but that was it. Toward the end of the movie, I could feel him scrunching up to me as a 'Oh shit the movie's ending and I haven't made my move' deal. So we put on another movie. It wasn't too late. He hadn't seen "Buffalo '66." We held hands the whole movie. And stroked them and it was getting pretty firey. When the movie ended I was like fuck it and kissed him and we went at it. He was aggressive and he has a lip ring. So hot (on him). We tore each others' clothes off like we were teenagers. It was great. He went down on me. I gave him a blow job. We cuddled. He left around 1:30. We kissed at the door and I felt great.
I did fake an orgasm because I was nervous about him being down there. What if he doesn't like giving oral? What if he feels like he's down there too long? What if I'm not responding correctly? I knew I was just too nervous in general that it wasn't going to happen, but it did feel good and he does know his way around there.
I was worried that I was doing his blow job all wrong. I realized that I haven't given a blow job in years. I just seem to have sex with guys now. I'm so worried about STD's that sex seems safer. Anyway, I think I did it right because he came and at one point he was going to come and he wanted me to stop. He said he liked it, so I guess being out of practice is okay.
Anyway, I was fine and smiley until Roommate #2 asked when my next plans with him were or if we discussed them and I realized we didn't. Oh shit! Was I just a two night stand? I decided I would text him later on in the day. Here's the conversation:
10:51 when can we hang out again? (sorry.anxious.last night was awesome)
10:53 ps. i have a friend coming up friday and leaving sunday so i'm busy then
No response. I'm starting to feel like a loser.
1:22 sorry i hope that all wasn't too forward. i tend not to have a filter. and i'm bored on a break at work.
Response from him:
1:28 Naw dude sounds good. I have a pretty busy weekend starting tonight
And because I just can't stop myself:
1:34 maybe sunday night?
No response at all. I feel like a big loser. I'm just going to leave it like that for now, at least for the weekend. I don't want him to think I'm more desperate than he already thinks I am. Jesus, it's not like he's my boyfriend. Two dates, MM. This is how I ruin things.
While we watched "Howl," we were kind of close in bed and our feet got close enough, they were touching and our arms were touching, but that was it. Toward the end of the movie, I could feel him scrunching up to me as a 'Oh shit the movie's ending and I haven't made my move' deal. So we put on another movie. It wasn't too late. He hadn't seen "Buffalo '66." We held hands the whole movie. And stroked them and it was getting pretty firey. When the movie ended I was like fuck it and kissed him and we went at it. He was aggressive and he has a lip ring. So hot (on him). We tore each others' clothes off like we were teenagers. It was great. He went down on me. I gave him a blow job. We cuddled. He left around 1:30. We kissed at the door and I felt great.
I did fake an orgasm because I was nervous about him being down there. What if he doesn't like giving oral? What if he feels like he's down there too long? What if I'm not responding correctly? I knew I was just too nervous in general that it wasn't going to happen, but it did feel good and he does know his way around there.
I was worried that I was doing his blow job all wrong. I realized that I haven't given a blow job in years. I just seem to have sex with guys now. I'm so worried about STD's that sex seems safer. Anyway, I think I did it right because he came and at one point he was going to come and he wanted me to stop. He said he liked it, so I guess being out of practice is okay.
Anyway, I was fine and smiley until Roommate #2 asked when my next plans with him were or if we discussed them and I realized we didn't. Oh shit! Was I just a two night stand? I decided I would text him later on in the day. Here's the conversation:
10:51 when can we hang out again? (sorry.anxious.last night was awesome)
10:53 ps. i have a friend coming up friday and leaving sunday so i'm busy then
No response. I'm starting to feel like a loser.
1:22 sorry i hope that all wasn't too forward. i tend not to have a filter. and i'm bored on a break at work.
Response from him:
1:28 Naw dude sounds good. I have a pretty busy weekend starting tonight
And because I just can't stop myself:
1:34 maybe sunday night?
No response at all. I feel like a big loser. I'm just going to leave it like that for now, at least for the weekend. I don't want him to think I'm more desperate than he already thinks I am. Jesus, it's not like he's my boyfriend. Two dates, MM. This is how I ruin things.
Butterflies!
I got butterflies! And a 28-year-old getting butterflies from a date is like a virgin getting an orgasm from sex for the first time. We had so much to talk about: yoga, books, art, music, work, friends, family. He paid for me. It was a real date. The music was pretty good. We got there a little early and decided to go for a walk and get some coffee.
Because there is always drama in my life, guess who we ran into? Exboyfriend of one year and one-two years on and off, Chris (not real name). Awkward! He was there with his girlfriend and her son. We chatted a little then went off on our own.
Marvin (not his real name) did ask me how my relationship was with Chris and why we broke up later on, over vegan hot dogs and hamburgers after the show. Marvin, get this, god hates me, not only is in a band with Chris, but also lives with him. Yeah, it's going to be super fun when we watch a movie at his house. How am I supposed to try to make out with him with Chris, Chris' girlfriend, and Chris' girlfriend's son watching?
Anyway, Marvin and I are getting Indian food then watching "Howl." I'm just so elated that he asked me out again for the day after our last date. Maybe he likes me?
Because there is always drama in my life, guess who we ran into? Exboyfriend of one year and one-two years on and off, Chris (not real name). Awkward! He was there with his girlfriend and her son. We chatted a little then went off on our own.
Marvin (not his real name) did ask me how my relationship was with Chris and why we broke up later on, over vegan hot dogs and hamburgers after the show. Marvin, get this, god hates me, not only is in a band with Chris, but also lives with him. Yeah, it's going to be super fun when we watch a movie at his house. How am I supposed to try to make out with him with Chris, Chris' girlfriend, and Chris' girlfriend's son watching?
Anyway, Marvin and I are getting Indian food then watching "Howl." I'm just so elated that he asked me out again for the day after our last date. Maybe he likes me?
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
La Musica
On Saturday I went to a concert. My exboyfriend's concert to be precise. We'll call him Chris. We are still on friendly terms, but really don't hang out anymore, mainly because he as a girlfriend now. It's disappointing because I miss him. But I still really like his music. we dated for about a year and saw each other on and off for another year or two. We've been through a lot together and I hate to see that thrown away. But I go to his shows when I can and I like his bandmates, too.
And actually, he got a new bandmate, bassist. I'll call him Marvin. we talked for a while because he's from Burlington, VT and I went to graduate school there. He's cute. Really cute. I didn't want to overstay my welcome in our talk so I excused myself when the next band started playing.
When I got home, drunk (my roommate and I went out for drinks after the show), I sent him a friend request on facebook telling him how great they played and I hope the request was not too forward. Much to my surprise, he sent me a message back asking me out for coffee and giving me his phone number!
Date time! I think, right? That looks like a date to me!
Roommate #2 said to wait until Tuesday to contact him, so I'm waiting for him to text me back to see if Wednesday evening works.
UPDATE:
He messaged me and we're going to the Sugar City Show tonight. He's picking me up at 6:30. So exciting! I'll let you all know how it went. I just hope this isn't going into the friend realm.
And actually, he got a new bandmate, bassist. I'll call him Marvin. we talked for a while because he's from Burlington, VT and I went to graduate school there. He's cute. Really cute. I didn't want to overstay my welcome in our talk so I excused myself when the next band started playing.
When I got home, drunk (my roommate and I went out for drinks after the show), I sent him a friend request on facebook telling him how great they played and I hope the request was not too forward. Much to my surprise, he sent me a message back asking me out for coffee and giving me his phone number!
Date time! I think, right? That looks like a date to me!
Roommate #2 said to wait until Tuesday to contact him, so I'm waiting for him to text me back to see if Wednesday evening works.
UPDATE:
He messaged me and we're going to the Sugar City Show tonight. He's picking me up at 6:30. So exciting! I'll let you all know how it went. I just hope this isn't going into the friend realm.
Amy's Place
Last night I was on a not-so-exciting date with what I would describe as possibly the most ordinary guy on the planet when I realized that next to me was an ex. Yes, an ex-boyfriend, or ex-date, whatever you would call a guy you went out with for 2-3 months, were pretty intimate with (hello naked time!) but it just didn't work out. "Didn't work out" because he didn't think it would work out and you were a big baby about it, which pretty much destroyed any possible friendship afterwords or potential of a reconciliation. But he was just so cute! The cutest guy I ever dated! I didn't want it to end; I could barely believe it was happening to begin with!
Anyway, back to the date at hand. I see exboyfriend. Hug. Awkward conversation where I forget to congratulate him on his recent tour. Yes, I have a thing for guys in bands. Instead, like an idiot, I bring up our mutual friend whom he also dated before me. Another possible awkward spot. Then I end it very abruptly and say it was good to see him. However, the entire date, because yes he and I are both on dates, we can hear each others' conversations and my guy is talking about pens I can stop thinking about the amazing oral sex ex gave me six or seven years ago, and I'm nodding, hoping ex is not paying attention to what we're talking about.
I left my boring date in the car in front of my house with a hug and I think that's the last I'll see of him. Our cheeks brushed, an attempt at a kiss on his part, but I wasn't in the mood.
Anyway, back to the date at hand. I see exboyfriend. Hug. Awkward conversation where I forget to congratulate him on his recent tour. Yes, I have a thing for guys in bands. Instead, like an idiot, I bring up our mutual friend whom he also dated before me. Another possible awkward spot. Then I end it very abruptly and say it was good to see him. However, the entire date, because yes he and I are both on dates, we can hear each others' conversations and my guy is talking about pens I can stop thinking about the amazing oral sex ex gave me six or seven years ago, and I'm nodding, hoping ex is not paying attention to what we're talking about.
I left my boring date in the car in front of my house with a hug and I think that's the last I'll see of him. Our cheeks brushed, an attempt at a kiss on his part, but I wasn't in the mood.
Internet Dating
I first started internet dating on a lonely weekend in March and immediately received twenty, thirty, up to a hundred messages from the creppiest guys one could imagine. Was this because I opted for the FREE dating site plentyoffish.com, rather than match.com? I don't know. But men my father's age wanted to take me out, men who ignored the vegan themes in my profile wanted to take me hunting. I got phone numbers for texting galore. It did give a boost to my ego. Too bad everyone was ugly. And, if that didn't give it away, I'm a snob when it comes to guys. People have noted I date a certain type of guy. A hipster. Hipsters are not on plentyoffish.com.
I tried. I really did. I went out with a very normal guy. All except for his name, which was very unique. But normal is boring and I hope he never reads this. We went on three dates (the third of which is "Amy's Place"). He was a gentleman, but I would seriously die of boredom before anything could ever happen between us. Maybe I just hate meeting new people.
I still don't know what to do with this site. Should I delete my account? There are no hipsters and I'm flooded by older, balding men. One of my friends told me about okcupid.com and I signed up and found hipster guys there, some of which I know in person. Maybe I'll just try that one. Maybe internet dating isn't for me after my last experience (see Amy's Place); I just don't know.
I tried. I really did. I went out with a very normal guy. All except for his name, which was very unique. But normal is boring and I hope he never reads this. We went on three dates (the third of which is "Amy's Place"). He was a gentleman, but I would seriously die of boredom before anything could ever happen between us. Maybe I just hate meeting new people.
I still don't know what to do with this site. Should I delete my account? There are no hipsters and I'm flooded by older, balding men. One of my friends told me about okcupid.com and I signed up and found hipster guys there, some of which I know in person. Maybe I'll just try that one. Maybe internet dating isn't for me after my last experience (see Amy's Place); I just don't know.
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