The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

So Marvin picked me up and we went to get Indian food. I was so nervous I could barely finish my samosa, let alone my main dish. Thank god for leftovers. He was so nice and good with conversation. So cute. He has these beautiful blue eyes and this great strong nose. Love myself a strong nose. Anyway, he paid (gentleman). I swear, next time I have to get it, though. Then we decided it would be best to go to my house since Chris' girlfriend's son was having a friend over and I had to get up early. Score for me since my television is in my bedroom, so we have to get in bed to watch TV.

While we watched "Howl," we were kind of close in bed and our feet got close enough, they were touching and our arms were touching, but that was it. Toward the end of the movie, I could feel him scrunching up to me as a 'Oh shit the movie's ending and I haven't made my move' deal. So we put on another movie. It wasn't too late. He hadn't seen "Buffalo '66." We held hands the whole movie. And stroked them and it was getting pretty firey. When the movie ended I was like fuck it and kissed him and we went at it. He was aggressive and he has a lip ring. So hot (on him). We tore each others' clothes off like we were teenagers. It was great. He went down on me. I gave him a blow job. We cuddled. He left around 1:30. We kissed at the door and I felt great.

I did fake an orgasm because I was nervous about him being down there. What if he doesn't like giving oral? What if he feels like he's down there too long? What if I'm not responding correctly? I knew I was just too nervous in general that it wasn't going to happen, but it did feel good and he does know his way around there.

I was worried that I was doing his blow job all wrong. I realized that I haven't given a blow job in years. I just seem to have sex with guys now. I'm so worried about STD's that sex seems safer. Anyway, I think I did it right because he came and at one point he was going to come and he wanted me to stop. He said he liked it, so I guess being out of practice is okay.

Anyway, I was fine and smiley until Roommate #2 asked when my next plans with him were or if we discussed them and I realized we didn't. Oh shit! Was I just a two night stand? I decided I would text him later on in the day. Here's the conversation:

10:51 when can we hang out again? (sorry.anxious.last night was awesome)
10:53 ps. i have a friend coming up friday and leaving sunday so i'm busy then

No response. I'm starting to feel like a loser.

1:22 sorry i hope that all wasn't too forward. i tend not to have a filter. and i'm bored on a break at work.

Response from him:
1:28 Naw dude sounds good. I have a pretty busy weekend starting tonight

And because I just can't stop myself:

1:34 maybe sunday night?

No response at all. I feel like a big loser. I'm just going to leave it like that for now, at least for the weekend. I don't want him to think I'm more desperate than he already thinks I am. Jesus, it's not like he's my boyfriend. Two dates, MM. This is how I ruin things.